He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
