Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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