Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
