I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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