i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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