I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
is wine microwaveable?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
