shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize