What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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