So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
