those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
