the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I want a musical about memes.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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