Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
