Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
