Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
