The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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