Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
