Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
