i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
