lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
