im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
