i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I would fuck him just for his dog
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
