He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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