THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
