your thong is hanging out like whoa
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
