Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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