I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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