I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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