Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
