We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
