If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize