He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
