we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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