Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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