something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
