Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
