she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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