Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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