you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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