I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
