Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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