I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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