Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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