My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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