mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
