Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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