He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Randomize
