Don't you send me to vm
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
