She is in my trunk
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Girls should come with a carfax report
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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