BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
