Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
my being single is dangerous.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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