I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize