Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
