I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize