New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize