The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
