my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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