Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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