Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
