I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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