Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize