fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize