Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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