I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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