She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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