Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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