naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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