Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
