i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
If I die, sorry about rent.
I touched a dick in church today
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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