My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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