I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize