Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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